Sarah's Sussex Blues

[Sarah]

Just a quick plug for my cousin Leonard's new optician business.
For all your eye-wear needs, contact Len's....
Sarah's Sussex Blues https://www.facebook.com/SussexBluesArchive

[Sarah]

My mates wife asked him if her appendix scar made her look unattractive.
Apparently, the response of "don't worry love, your boobs cover it" wasn't the answer she was looking for....

[Sarah]

The Pope is visiting the UK and Little Jimmy pushes his way to the front of the crowd.
"Please, Sir.." he asks the Pope, "Can you help me with my hearing?"
"Certainly, my child." replies the Pope and gently puts his hands over the lad's ears. After a few minutes he takes his hands away and says,
"How is your hearing now, my son?"
Jimmy replies, "I don't know.. it's not until next Wednesday."....

Sarah's Sussex Blues https://www.facebook.com/SussexBluesArchive

[Sarah]

I renewed my car insurance over the phone just now and as I was about to hang up the lady asked if I had a pet?
"Yes" I said "I have two dogs"
"Would you like to insure them too" she asked
"No thanks" I replied, "their feet don't reach the pedals"....

https://www.facebook.com/SussexBluesArchive

[Luma]

[Sarah]

I was shopping in Tesco yesterday and there was a weird looking child running around like a lunatic.
I said to the bloke standing next to me, "That is one ugly kid."
He looked at me and snarled, "Do you mind, that's my son!!"
I smiled and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were his dad."
He said, "I'm not his dad. I'm his mother!"....
https://www.facebook.com/SussexBluesArchive

[Sarah]

I've just found out there's a tennis ball sale at the sports club, first come first served....
https://www.facebook.com/SussexBluesArchive