Sarah's Sussex Blues

[Sarah]

I'm looking for someone to brush their teeth with me.
I just heard that 9 out of 10 dentists say brushing alone won't reduce cavities....

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[Sarah]

I booked a milk bath as a treat at our local health spa
“Do you want it pasteurised?” asked the receptionist
I relied “No, just under my chin will do”....

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......

[Sarah]

A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an old lady and an old man peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the old couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity. He called them into his shop, "I know that on a pension you could never hope to have an expensive holiday, so I'm sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense and I won't take 'no' for an answer." He took them inside and asked his secretary to arrange two flight tickets and a room in a five star hotel in an exclusive resort." They, as can be expected, gladly accepted.
About a month later the old lady came into his shop. "And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly. "The flight was exciting and the room and resort were lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you, but one thing puzzled me, who was that old fella I had to share the room with?"....

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[Sarah]

It’s been proven that nine out of ten single people who sit at home and talk to their cats, are mentally disturbed.
My dog is full of useful information like that!...

Sarah's Sussex Blues https://www.facebook.com/SussexBluesArchive

[Sarah]

I spent my whole life being proud of my English heritage
until I found out that my great grandfather was actually from Transylvania
Now I can’t even look at myself in the mirror....
Sarah's Sussex Blues https://www.facebook.com/SussexBluesArchive

[Sarah]

Dog shaming, also known as animal shaming, is an internet meme in which an image of a dog or other animal is uploaded to the internet with a sign which describes some recent negative behaviour perpetrated by the animal. The meme originated on Tumblr in August 2012. Wikipedia
Originally published: 24 September 2013
Author: Pascale Lemire

dogshaming

Sarah's Sussex Blues https://www.facebook.com/SussexBluesArchive

[Sarah]

A 5th year teacher was giving her primary pupils a lesson in developing logical thinking.'
This is the scene' said the Teacher.
'A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of the river,fishing.
He loses his balance,falls in and begins splashing and yelling for help.
His wife hears the commotion,knows he can't swim,and runs down to the bank.
Why do you think she ran to the bank?'.
A little girl raises her hand and asked 'To draw out all his savings?'
Sarah's Sussex Blues https://www.facebook.com/SussexBluesArchive