Re: Pat Ritter. Books
Posted: Mon May 21, 2018 10:59 pm
'Closing The Gap' - Page 19:
9.ASK QUESTIONS
Asking questions encourages your child and shows that you are listening. Ask ‘open’ questions, and by this I mean questions such as ‘how did you feel when this happened to you?’ Open questions have to be answered with words rather than with ‘yes’ or ‘no’ statements. This encourages a child to give an explanation which may not have been given if the answer could have been simply ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
Open questions are very useful where feelings are concerned. Don’t be afraid to ask questions which deal with the feelings of someone else, as feelings are the cornerstone of relationships.
10.USE FEEDBACK
Another technique we can use to ensure that our message has been understood is to ask for ‘feedback’.
Feedback is simply the obtaining of evidence from your child that he has understood your message correctly. This is done most effectively by asking ‘open’ questions based on the message you are communicating.
So if you are asking a child to change his study timetable because of some family activity, one way to ensure that he understands this is to ask him a question such as ‘how are you going to arrange your timetable?’ If you don’t ask, you will never know if your intended message was received accurately.
When messages are passed from one person to another, slight changes can often be made, so the message the recipient gets may be distorted. By receiving the right feedback, you will be assured that your message has been received correctly.
11.USE APPROPRIATE LANGUAGE
Just as listening is vital to communication, so too is the language that you use. When talking to a child make sure the language you use is readily understood by him.
By using language that children understand, you are better able to communicate with them.
12.TIME YOUR COMMUNICATION FOR MAXIMUM EFFECT
If you want to discuss something with your child, you have to pick a time that fits in with the child and of course, yourself.
If your child is starting out for a game of cricket or if he is studying, then wait until he returns from his game or until he has finished his homework, so that effective communication can occur. If our minds are on another activity, communication breakdowns are likely.
Communication requires the attention of both parties. If either one is actually thinking about something else, then the attempted communication will not be successful.
13.SAY ‘I’ RATHER THAN ‘YOU’
Communicate your feelings by using sentences starting with ‘I’ rather than ‘you’. This way you will be assisting your child to develop responsibility for his actions.
It is better to say ‘I am not happy with you leaving this room in such a mess’ than it is to shout ‘you never tidy up after yourself – do you?’ The latter statement generally gets the unspoken answer: ‘so what!’ and it generally isn’t effective in changing the child’s behaviour.
TO PURCHASE THIS BOOK: CLICK HERE: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/52861.
9.ASK QUESTIONS
Asking questions encourages your child and shows that you are listening. Ask ‘open’ questions, and by this I mean questions such as ‘how did you feel when this happened to you?’ Open questions have to be answered with words rather than with ‘yes’ or ‘no’ statements. This encourages a child to give an explanation which may not have been given if the answer could have been simply ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
Open questions are very useful where feelings are concerned. Don’t be afraid to ask questions which deal with the feelings of someone else, as feelings are the cornerstone of relationships.
10.USE FEEDBACK
Another technique we can use to ensure that our message has been understood is to ask for ‘feedback’.
Feedback is simply the obtaining of evidence from your child that he has understood your message correctly. This is done most effectively by asking ‘open’ questions based on the message you are communicating.
So if you are asking a child to change his study timetable because of some family activity, one way to ensure that he understands this is to ask him a question such as ‘how are you going to arrange your timetable?’ If you don’t ask, you will never know if your intended message was received accurately.
When messages are passed from one person to another, slight changes can often be made, so the message the recipient gets may be distorted. By receiving the right feedback, you will be assured that your message has been received correctly.
11.USE APPROPRIATE LANGUAGE
Just as listening is vital to communication, so too is the language that you use. When talking to a child make sure the language you use is readily understood by him.
By using language that children understand, you are better able to communicate with them.
12.TIME YOUR COMMUNICATION FOR MAXIMUM EFFECT
If you want to discuss something with your child, you have to pick a time that fits in with the child and of course, yourself.
If your child is starting out for a game of cricket or if he is studying, then wait until he returns from his game or until he has finished his homework, so that effective communication can occur. If our minds are on another activity, communication breakdowns are likely.
Communication requires the attention of both parties. If either one is actually thinking about something else, then the attempted communication will not be successful.
13.SAY ‘I’ RATHER THAN ‘YOU’
Communicate your feelings by using sentences starting with ‘I’ rather than ‘you’. This way you will be assisting your child to develop responsibility for his actions.
It is better to say ‘I am not happy with you leaving this room in such a mess’ than it is to shout ‘you never tidy up after yourself – do you?’ The latter statement generally gets the unspoken answer: ‘so what!’ and it generally isn’t effective in changing the child’s behaviour.
TO PURCHASE THIS BOOK: CLICK HERE: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/52861.